Therapy
Couples therapy and marriage counseling
Most couples don't come to therapy because they don't love each other anymore. They come because they keep getting pulled into the same painful pattern.
When the same argument keeps happening
The specifics change — money, the in-laws, the dishes — but the shape of it doesn't. One of you presses, the other goes quiet, and you both end up somewhere you didn't want to be. We work with attachment theory and interpersonal neurobiology to make that cycle visible while it's happening, using tools like Dan Siegel's hand model of the brain to give you a shared language for what your nervous systems are doing.
The stories you each bring in
Early experiences shape how you interpret each other's words, what you do when conflict spikes, and what disconnection feels like from the inside. Two people can be in the same conversation and be in genuinely different conversations. Naming that is usually the turn.
The pattern is the problem
Sessions aren't about establishing who is right. They're about slowing a repetitive cycle down far enough that a different response becomes available — and then practising it until it holds under pressure.
Premarital counseling
Premarital counseling covers how each of your family histories set your expectations for partnership, how you'll handle money, conflict, and family, and what trust is built out of. It's easier to do this work before a pattern has ten years of practice behind it.
Couples therapy can help with
- Recurring arguments
- Emotional distance
- Shutdown during conflict
- Rebuilding trust after betrayal
- Parenting strain on the relationship
- Faith or values differences
In-person in San Clemente and by telehealth throughout California. We see dating, engaged, and married couples, including couples navigating differences in faith.
Common questions
- What if my partner is hesitant about therapy?
- That's common, and it isn't a reason to wait. Plenty of couples start with one partner more convinced than the other. The consultation is a low-stakes way for a hesitant partner to see what this actually is before committing.
- Do you take sides?
- No. The pattern is the client, not either of you. The work is about slowing the cycle down and building a different response — not deciding who was right.
- Do you offer premarital counseling?
- Yes. Premarital work looks at how family history and past experiences shape what each of you expects from the relationship, and how trust gets built or eroded. We see dating, engaged, and married couples.
- Is couples therapy the same as a couples group?
- No. Couples therapy is private work with one of our clinicians. Groups are a separate offering with their own format and schedule — see groups.
- What does it cost?
- Couples sessions are 50 minutes and start at $225, with a limited number of sliding scale spots. See the fees and FAQ page.
Start with a free consultation
A short call to talk through what's happening between you and how couples therapy would work. Book with either clinician.
Schedule a consultation